We all have our “buttons” that make us crazy when they are pushed. Identifying these triggers can hold the key to eliminating their hold over us. Do you know your stressors?
A stressor is anything that can cause stress in our lives. It can be a particular situation, a comment being made, an action or a feeling. How do you know it’s a stressor? Your response to it can give you a clue.
Here are some common stress responses:
- Answering in anger or getting overemotional
- Muscles in the body tense up
- Nervousness
- Trouble sleeping
- Upset stomach or headache
- Procrastination
If you have experienced these symptoms and others, then you definitely have stressful situations going on in your life. When you think about it, some situations may be easy to identify – large workload on the job, lots to do around the house, unruly children. But, some responses are a result of how we aren’t handling stress well and those causes may be harder to pinpoint.
Knowing is Half the Battle
When your sister starts talking about how your kids can do better in school you clench your teeth and every muscle in your body tenses up. That’s a stressor. Now, why does it bother you? Maybe you don’t want someone without kids telling you how to deal with yours.
So, you know the stressor and why it is so. Now, you just have to deal with it. Now the rubber hits the road. You can:
- Talk to your sister and let her know how much it bugs you that she makes these comments, or
- Decide that your kids are fine and ignore her responses
This is only an example but it shows how you can meet your stressor and overcome it so it can no longer stress you out. Think about it with a clear head. If the point that gets you agitated is not worth getting upset about, then decide to let it go. Resolve that you will not respond that way anymore but will let the comments roll off your back.
Try keeping a stress journal. Write down anything that causes a stress response. Don’t skip over your emotional responses. They are just as important as the way your body feels physically. How did you handle the stressor if at all? Write that down too.
You will begin to see patterns to your behavior and responses. Learn why some situations seem to persist. Avoidance of a task or situation until the last possible minute may be the root cause of the stress.
Knowing your stressors is not always easy. Keeping a journal can help. Once you can identify them, you are halfway there.